Hi! It’s Kayla your Fat Positive Therapist. Let’s chat about society’s obsession with controlling the fat body. What is the deal with the assumption that fat people should suffer to appease social expectations?
If you have ever been fat, you know exactly what I am talking about. Fatties can’t do anything without commentary and judgment from our environment. We are restricted and judged with the intent to control how we show up in the world. What do I mean by this?
Let’s start with clothing shall we. Right now in America, ITS REALLY FREAKING HOT. I run hot. Always have, no matter the size of my body. However, since I exist in a fat body, society has had lots of feelings about how my body can exist in the world. That my body should be hidden from the public eye. Insert charming visual of me wearing zip up sweaters in the middle of summer (EEEK). In my younger years following these social rules were drastically more important than my comfort. This is a common fat experience.
Not only do fat bodies rarely have access to shorts, dress or anything cute to wear during the warmer months, we are harassed by loved ones and strangers regarding “showing too much skin”. What is a fat person suppose to do? Disappear into nothingness to appease the eyes of the genetically thin? Fuck no. I’m hot. I deserve comfort. Fat people deserve comfort and confidence in their adornment.
Society seems obsessed with how fat bodies adorn themselves. As if being comfortable and confident is a grave insult to the social rules that are in place. Fatness is not a shame to bear through discomfort. Your body is not a failure and your comfort is paramount. “Well meaning” friends, family and strangers should not get to control how we find physical comfort. End of story.
Food is a more obvious way to control the fat individual. Again, we see the normalization of being in perpetual atonement for the crime of fatness. Fat people are judged for eating… anything. The assumption being that starvation is the somehow “healthier” option. That deprivation is the penance for gluttony. Even if a fat person is eating a salad or buying fruit they run the risk of a stranger stopping them to provide unsolicited food advice. Because if a person is fat the must have NEVER tried a diet. That they have no idea how nutrition works. Are you serious?
When our culture normalizes fat people not having access to food related joy, what options does that leave for fat people? Food is a core component of joy in cultural activities. Birthdays, anniversaries, date nights and parties are all punctuated by food. Not having access to joy inducing food options is an oppressive expectation. Food has a long history of being the center of community and connection. Maybe that’s why society seeks to detach us from food. Isolation and dehumanization are needed to feel comfortable taking the autonomy away from another person.
Overriding the autonomy of another human being is the underlying messaging in the issues discussed above. Autonomy (freedom to make own choices) is a core right of any human. Society seeks to take away the autonomy of anyone that doesn’t meet the thin white ideal. Honestly, even thin people have their autonomy challenged. Often not to the point of oppression but it’s not uncommon. Each human should have the right to make consent based choices around their bodies.
At the end of this rant, what comes to mind is … WHY ARE YOU SO OBSESSED WITH ME? Why does the autonomy of a fat person enrage everyone? The fixation on controlling the choices and actions of the fat body is something to reflect on.
Because you don’t care about my health.
You simply can’t comprehend that fat bodies should exist without your judgement or intent to control.
So to all my summer fellow fatties, dress for your comfort. Wear the shorts. Rock the crop top. Put down the jacket. Eat the food.
YOU DESERVE COMFORT & JOY~
Just turned 32 and started wearing crop tops in public. Liberating and MUCH COOLER! To hell with society ❤️